Sherlock Hermione
by Krystale
Summary: I, Hermione Granger, tell you the great story of the mystery I succeeded to unfold! Listen carefully, because this is the story of Harry and the secret admirer… I mean the story of the great Sherlock Hermione! HPDM yaoi
1. The Mystery

Disclaimer: Much to my displeasure, I do not own any of Harry Potter characters… Maybe it's better for them eheheh…

Warning: This is a fic containing yaoi so be warned reader, because the pairings are HP/DM and HG/RW

Note: This is a fic written from Hermione point of view, but I'll add some part in the normal POV because some of the scenes are not seen by her.

Note2: Yes I read Harry and the Blood Prince and I'm quite unhappy with it so I'm taking the liberty of writing like the events in this book never happened, so don't worry about spoilers.

Chapter 1: The Mystery

Maybe we need to put a little bit more of dragon claws and… oh! Hello to you! As you can guess, my name is Hermione Granger. I'm here to tell you the great story of the mystery I succeeded to unfold! Listen carefully, because this is the story of Harry and the secret admirer… I mean the story of the great Sherlock Hermione!

2 months before, Hermione POV

It was at the end of September, school was slowly taking its pace and we were on our sixth year. Harry had yet another time spent the summer at the Dursley's. He told me that he had a horrible summer.

'I hope next year he'll be able to spend summer at Ron's house or my house even. I'm so lucky that my parents are alive… Anyway I shouldn't think too much about that now, I have to get ready. Breakfast should be ready at anytime now…'

I should comb my bushy hair… Not that I consider my hair to be actually bushy, you know it's not THAT bad… I don't know why everyone seems to think it's a disaster… I used to think that, but the last two years did miracles to my hair. It's the joy of growing up… Yeah right… Anyways it's about time now, and I still need to pour water on Ron's face to wake him up or he'll miss breakfast. Again. He is such a total lazy ass… I mean… Did I say a bad word? You should hear Ron and Harry talk; THEY are much worse than me.

I went downstairs to take a glass; I poured water in it with the use of the Aguamenti spell.

As I was climbing the stairs, I saw Ron climbing down, dressed for one, and ready for breakfast. I was so shocked that I dropped the glass on him as he was climbing down. Oops. Sorry for that Ron, really… Anyways I don't have time to actually say it to him because there is still Harry up there. Lazy ass number two. Insert me rolling eyes here. I opened the door for the boy's dormitory and what a surprise. Harry is still sleeping. Well I could say that he had a hard summer so he needs to relax and sleep… Ron doesn't have any reason to sleep this late, usually he does and this morning I don't know what got into him to be that early, but Harry deserves to sleep. I'm feeling a little bit bad for what I'm going to do… Just a little bit.

'HARRY LOOK OUT, THERE'S A DEMENTOR!' I screamed.

Oh God, you missed something. It was so funny. I couldn't stop the laugh from escaping me when he jumped out of his bed in only his pajama's bottom and when he screamed to 'Go away! Spero Patronum!' miming the actiong of the spell to create a patronus, but missing his wand it just looked stupid. I was roaring with laugh. His face, red from anger now, just made me laugh harder. Am I mean? Maybe a little bit. Do I regret doing it? No way! It was so funny! I should apologize…

'Harry I'm s….' and here it is I couldn't stop laughing… I giggled a bit before taking my voice under control again. 'Harry I'm sorry but it was to tempting…'

'Do you think it's funny Hermione! Dementors aren't a joking matter!'

Crap. Now I'm feeling bad. What! Bad word again? Well, get used to it because I may not be the Hermione you think I am. I may seem bossy and nerd, but I'm not! Yes I do pretty good in class but that doesn't make me an angel you know. Besides, hanging with Ron and Harry for 5 years now you'd think that I would be a little more like them…

'No… I'm really sorry now Harry, I shouldn't joke about…'

'Only NOW! ONLY NOW!' Harry almost screamed, fuming.

I swear he is so easy to offend, he's worse than a girl on pms! He's acting like that 24 hours a day since the fifth year at Hogwarts. How annoying… I can't blame him though; I think he needs love… No really! I know what you are saying under your breath 'Bullshit' but I swear! Since the Cho Chang disaster after the Yule Ball and all, he's been rather down. We should try to find him someone who would love him for him and not for his celebrity. What! Me! No sorry, I don't love him that way… That's a pity though since he's so much good looking since this summer… But no… Yeah I'm sighing after the red-haired prat that is Ron. I know. I am so despaired. But who knows, maybe he'll mature after all these years…or maybe not. Oh God, stop looking at me like that! I'm being positive! And besides, I like his childish side… STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK! He…just doesn't know it yet. He is far more to obsessed with Quidditch to even look at me. Humph. Yeah I'm jealous of Quidditch. SO WHAT?

Yeah, yeah I'm calming down. But come on! I'm not being very secretive with him! He is just soooo blind! I mean I'm practically saying it! I'm sure he doesn't even hear me when I am talking! Guys can be so stupid sometimes. Okay, okay! I'm acknowledging it I'm a little bit feminist. My friends don't really help there… But if Ron could open his eyes and look at me, he would see that I have a big red flashing banner saying 'Please go out with me' on my head.

Enough about me, we are here to try to get quickly to breakfast with my friends, right. As I was turning myself to see Harry, I just noticed that he was in his boxers; he had his pajama bottom in his hands. The red spread to my cheeks before I could stop it. I mean, without any lies, wouldn't every girl blush if the current handsome guy stripped in his boxers? He just shrugged as if it didn't even bug him and I walked quickly out of the room. He isn't even shy! Maybe it's because I'm a close friend, but still! In his boxers! Every guy right in his mind would care if a girl saw him in his boxers! If I wouldn't have behaved myself, I would have stared at him with my mouth open like a fish. I have to admit that his work out from Quidditch did quite a wonder to his chest… It's all flat and I saw the definite line of muscles… Do you think Ron's chest is like that too? And… Are his hairs down the navel red too? Oh God. I definitely did not say that.

What no! I'm not blushing like an idiot thinking about Ron's chest and his... Well, maybe I am… Anyways! I need to remember how to walk, that's it! One foot, then, an other… Hell, I'm good! So now I have to face the wrath of the wet prat. Remember? I dropped a glass of water on him just a while ago…

'Hermione, why did you do that?' Ron asked me.

I then decided to tell him the truth. Yeah it is sometimes hard to hear…

'Well, I dropped it on you because I was shocked to see you awake and dressed, err I mean, not that I am accustomed to see you _not_ dressed, but…'

Crap. I really messed this up, didn't I?

'Eh…?' Was the intelligent response of the red-haired boy.

'I mean, I don't _want _to see you undressed… No, eh, I mean, what I really mean is that you aren't dressed this early usually…and'

'You know I understand now Hermione. No need to explain for three hours…' He said surprisingly.

'Oh my god! What a change!'

'Quit being sarcastic here.' Ron replied.

'But I'm not…'

Ron being unusually quick to understand, I didn't need to explain more. He went to change his shirt and climbed down the stairs with a dressed Harry.

I am not disappointed, I swear! Well, only a little… But not more! Oh I know, I shouldn't swear if it's not true, but really! Only a little bit!

The three of us went at the Great Hall to (finally) eat breakfast. When we sat down, I listened only with one ear the boring conversation about Quidditch Ron had (again) with Harry. It seems like I wasn't the only one bored, Harry wasn't listening too and Ron didn't even notice it… He was looking with a bored face at the Slytherin table. WHAT! The _slytherin _table! Why is he even looking there with that bored face? He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't even saw me looking at him and at the Slytherin table… He looks… like he is searching something… or … someone perhaps? And that's when I saw Draco Malfoy. The worst big mouth prat stupid jerk I ever met. I also have to admit that summer did wonder to him too but… wait. This is MALFOY we are talking about. So it's him he's looking at. Ah they locked eyes. Hey, why is Harry grinning like a winner? Since when was he happy again! And because of Malfoy! No way…

There is a mystery to unfold and I, Sherlock Hermione, need to discover it!


	2. The Dare

Disclaimer: Read chapter 1.

Warning: This is a fic containing yaoi so be warned reader, because the pairings are HP/DM and HG/RW

Note: I know the rating may seem too high (would be more of a teen rating actually) but it's a protection for the later chapters in which you could see more mature themes.

Chapter 2: The Dare

In the last chapter

Hey, why is Harry grinning like a winner? Since when was he happy again! And because of Malfoy! No way…

There is a mystery to unfold and I, Sherlock Hermione, need to discover it!

Current chapter

I really need to know why Harry is grinning like that; it's not in his habits… It's more the type of grin Malfoy would give us when he is planning some evil joke to make our lives a living hell… Well, Harry may have found a way to make Malfoy's life a living hell too. It's about time he realizes he can do it too…

So our little Harry now knows he can fight back with something else than bad words. I wonder what his plan is… I shouldn't interfere and put myself in trouble too. I won't interfere, I promise.

Oh screw it, I'll help him anyways. And stop being so surprised each time I'm saying a bad word would you! That'll be for Malfoy calling me a mudblood. Oh joyful memories… Well I'm being sarcastic but still there _was _some good in it, Ron defended me like a knight in his shining armor rescuing his princess… No I'm not sighing like a loveless puppy. Or maybe I am. But still, I'll take my revenge on Malfoy for everytime he has called me a mudblood and for the way his family treats house elves!

I know I'm not over the group I started to protect house elves… I mean, look at them! They are so maltreated! I'm sooo going to make the sexy blond… err I mean Malfoy eat dirt!

'Err, Hermione? Why are you looking at Malfoy giggling and grinning sadistically with a dirty look? You could make a child go away screaming in fear…' Ron said.

'Why, thank you for such a nice remark on children, mister Weasley. You are saying I wouldn't make a good mother?' I spat back, furious.

'I don't understand the link with you not being a good mother Hermione, it's just… If you would have seen yourself just a while ago, I'm sure you would understand.' The stup… err red-haired answered with a little fear. I think he is afraid of me when I'm angry, that is soooo cute!

'It's okay, really, Ron.' I replied with a big smile. You think I'm moody? Well… I AM a girl you know…

'I think Harry have something to tell us, _right_ Harry?' I added with a grin.

He just came back from his dream-like state, blinking at us.

'Harry, you DO have an evil plan for Malfoy don't you?' I repeated.

'Well kind of…' He started regaining his grin from earlier. 'I have something you could help me with guys. Are you in this?'

'Hell, sure we are mate!' Ron said with an excited voice.

'Damn right!' I nodded happily.

They gave me that weird look.

'Hey don't look at me like that guys! I'd like to help you! It's not because I'm a prefect that I can't break some rules…'

I think Harry and Ron were a little bit surprised but they didn't complain to have the most intelligent student of the sixth year's students to help them… Well, I'm only stating the truth I AM the most intelligent student. And I'm proud of it. And I'm modest. Not a tiny bit narcissistic on my talent. Well I'm good and I know it, what is the problem with that!

Okay I'm exaggerating now, I know. But now Harry is explaining his scheme. I should listen to him.

'… and then we'll see if muggles are that stupid.' Harry finished.

'Err, did I miss something?' I asked.

'You were dozing off again, weren't you? You shouldn't think that much; it's bad for your brain.' Ron answered.

'It wouldn't hurt you to do it more often…' I said with slight sarcasm.

'Hey it's not because I'm not the best student Hogwarts ever had that I'm stupid!' He replied with anger.

'It's not what I was saying you know!' I really hate it when we fight like that… People say it is love… I say it's bullshit. When we'll be able to agree more often then we fight, then I think he'll realize that I love him…

'Hey guys!' Harry said quickly to stop us from fighting 'You know it's not bad, I'll repeat my plan for Hermione. I wanted to bring Malfoy in a muggle's house and make him think we are doing magic by using electric things and making him afraid. We'll make him think it's a haunted house and dare him to go in it.'

I was surprised to see a great plan like that. Oh God it'll be the funniest way to make fun of him! Using muggle technology to make him afraid, brilliant!

'Bring him to my house. I'll show him my sweeper.' I answered with a grin.

Harry was grinning as well; he knew what a sweeper was since he was living in a muggle house before he knew he was a wizard. Ron was looking at us like we were mad.

'Ron, a sweeper is like a broom, but it's electric. It's powered by electricity when we plug it into the wall.' Harry tried to explain.

'I'm sure your father has on of them in his collection, you know it makes a sound like VVVVVVVV' I added with exasperation.

'Oh you mean an auto V broom! Yes dad has one.' Ron said, understanding.

'Err… Whatever you call it but the real name is sweeper Ron…' I replied.

'But how will we bring him in London? We can't leave the school ground unless we go to Hogsmead…' Harry asked.

'I'm sure Fred and Georges could find a way to go there…' Ron said.

'I know! They took their apparition test, no? They could bring us with them while they are apparating!'

'Good idea Hermione!' Ron said to me with a happy face.

'Could you owl them to ask if they could come by here, let's say… Tomorrow night? My parents won't be home since they are on a trip in France.'

'That could work…' Ron added with excitation.

'So Harry why don't you go and dare Malfoy now?' I asked.

'Okay… I'll go…' Harry answered,

We waited until lunch was finished. Then, Ron went to owl his brothers and I went with Harry to dare Malfoy.

'So Malfoy are you doing something interesting tomorrow night?' Harry asked him.

'Sounds like a proposition to me, Potter.' The beautiful blond spat.

'No way in hell! I'm asking if you are brave enough to face a haunted house.' Harry asked again.

'Seems like a dare… I'll go with you to this haunted house, just to see you chicken away.' Malfoy answered with the most venom he could put in his sentence.

'_Fine. _We'll see who's the chicken tomorrow night at 9 o'clock.'

'And why don't we put a reward in the end? I would be more interesting. The winner gets to ask _whatever_ he wants from the loser. Fair?' The blond added.

'Seems fair to me. See ya tomorrow, loser.' The brown-haired guy with a scar said.

We went back to our common room to take our books. The next two class days will be long… We will see, Malfoy! You'll lose!


End file.
